Empty and Scared

I am terrified that I will never find something to fill this emptiness inside of me. Scared that these feelings of being detached will never go away. I feel hollow, like I have no personality, I am nothing, just a waste of space with no meaning or reason… I start things and then lose the motivation and stop doing them. I don’t know what to do with my life, don’t know how to get back to a place where I am happy. I think I used to know what I wanted to do with my life, I used to be happy…I think. I don’t know anything anymore. Why do I feel like this all the time?
Part of me wants it all to end and part of me wants to help others who feel like this but I can’t even help myself…

Everything sucks sometimes.

Night time voices

I sleep with music playing, and in warmer weather, a fan on. The music provides me with something to focus on apart from the endless stream of thoughts telling me all the thing’s I’ve done wrong or things I need to do. It also provides comfort. But sometimes, even with music on, I can hear voices. Over the last few weeks, I have been hearing what sounds like men on a radio talk show, chatting about something. I can’t tell what they are saying, I don’t really care what they are discussing. I know it isn’t another radio in our house, nor is it our neighbors, as I usually start going to sleep around midnight or 1am. This doesn’t happen every night, only some nights. Last month I was sitting in the lounge room just before bed and could swear I heard our kids talking and laughing, but they were sound asleep. I know about auditory hallucinations but sometimes I worry about my mental state. And last time I went to get a new referral to a psychologist for my depression and anxiety (for which I take medication), the GP asked if I heard or saw things other people didn’t. I have been feeling quite detached a lot, and apart from everyone and everything. I don’t know what to do about it. For now, I’ll just continue to ignore it.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

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